Chapter Text
Lincoln Loud groaned as he awoke from his bed in 8:00 AM in the morning. He dragged himself out of bed and practically staggered out of his bedroom to enter the bathroom. He was just not himself today. He was feeling jaded and monotonous as it was the average day here at the Loud House. Every one of his sisters are going God knows what with their antics. Lincoln could only ignore them as best he could. It was just a circus all around. When Lincoln finally made to the bathroom door, he gripped the knob and was about to open it, when his eldest sister Lori rudely shoved him aside and entered before he got the chance.
"Out of the way, twerp." She yapped in her usual snotty tone.
"Hey! I was here first!" Lincoln argued.
"Well, I was born first!" snapped Lori before slamming the door in his face, leaving Lincoln to grumble under his breath. Lori's always taking advantage of her own age and herrole as the firstborn child. She thinks that she has to be first to doeverything, just because she was the first one born.
"Fine, then. I'll just go whiz on the carpet for all I care." He murmured to himself in irritation as he descended down the flight of stairs when the twins, Lola and Lana, raced by, knocking him down in the process and sending falling down the stairs and landing flat on his face on the carpet floor at the bottom of the steps.
"I can see you're FLAT as a pancake!" Luan wandered past him and joked before laughing her heart out.
Lincoln only growled at her nonchalant humor. How can she just laugh at his pain and suffering like that? Lincoln entered the kitchen to find something in the kitchen when he was unexpectedly grabbed by Lynn who smacked him onto the floor and tackled him into a sudden wrestling match. Lincoln didn't fight back as he was caught by surprise. As the cloud disappeared, Lynn was now sitting right on top of his head, having him pinned down.
"Ha! I win again!" cheered Lynn, proud of her own accomplishment in beating her brother in yet another rough wrestling match. "You really need to be more athletic if you ever want to be me, Lincoln. But I wouldn't waste your time embarrassing yourself, because no one can get as good as me."
"Yeah, whatever." Lincoln rolled his eyes. But then a disturbing loud rumble was heard within her bowels.
"Uh-oh. You know what that means." Lynn shot him a mischievous smirk.
"Please no." He begged, but was ignored when Lynn grunted and forced out a loud, stinky fart right on him, giving him one of her famous Dutch ovens.
"Dutch oven!" She shouted with pride before getting off of him and leaving the room.
The rest of the day went on as usual. His day at school was average and same as always. His best friend, Clyde, got curious about his behaviors and asked why. Lincoln only answer was that he was growing tired with his life. Lincoln arrived home after school and saw Lori sitting on her couch doing her normal routine: texting on her phone with her boyfriend, Bobby who happened to be the older brother of Ronnie Anne, a girl as Lincoln's school who used to pick on him and beat him up before they started hanging out. Although, she still retains her aggressive and bully-ish nature, she remains in touch with Lincoln. However, Lincoln would often question his relationship with her. She always makes feminist remarks on how girls are stronger or smarter than boys and he would fear of getting pummeled if he disagreed. Not only that, but she still refers to him as "lame-o", which brought a smile toLincoln, but at the same time, annoyed him.
"Oh, hey, Lincoln." Lori greeted boredly. "Bobby wants to know if you and Ronnie Anne are doing anything."
"Not much. We might just see a movie or something." Lincoln casually came out with.
"Well, it better be good and you better show her a good time, because if here from Bobby that Ronnie Anne hasn't had a good time, I'm gonna-"
"Turn me into a human pretzel. Blah, blah, blah. Same old, same old. Never gets old." grunted Lincoln with the same bored manner as he walked up the stairs to his room.
"Don't you talk back to me! I'm the oldest!" Lori's angered screams could be heard from downstairs, but Lincoln payed no attention to it. He just wanted to escape the sordid outside world to his place of solace, which was his bedroom. It was just seemed unfair that the girl who used to bully and pound you is the younger sister of your sister's boyfriend and now you have to date or placate her in order to keep your sister's relationship with her brother from fracturing. It's just asinine.
(...To be continued)
